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my girlfriend is financially dependent on me

With money comes power, and since my boyfriend earns most of the money, I feel like I need to acquiesce to his preferences since, let’s face it, he’s got more money. If you don't truly love your spouse, then you'd make him or her depend on you for all her financial needs. He doesn’t have a car, also something that is decently common. I like to consider myself a strong and independent woman—don’t we all? Our situation is not making the process of a break up easy. What's more, financial abuse is often the first sign of dating violence and domestic abuse. That way, I didn’t have to stick my hand out and get help from other people. Still, I do struggle with this. My girlfriend and I are both 15, and we've been dating for 9 months. With the IRS dependent rules, to claim your boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent, he or she could not have earned more than $4,050 during the tax year. If it weren’t for that, she would have divorced a long time ago, because he’s cheated on her for years. He stays up until 4 or 5 in the morning playing video games or drinking with friends and sleeps until the same time the next afternoon. Don't get tripped up by the word "relative" here—according to the IRS, it can include an unrelated person … For any partners who have earned more than $4,050 in one tax year, they have essentially earned enough to prove to the IRS that they can take care of themselves financially. With the IRS dependent rules, to claim your boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent, he or she could not have earned more than $4,050 during the tax year. The fact that he has no interest in life beyond gaming all night and sleeping all day is really unattractive. Are you willing to shoulder all the burden all the time when difficult situations arise? But the truth is, he never, ever sees our relationships this way so neither should I. My ex saw me as this person who’s obsessed with money, but the truth of the matter is that I NEVER want to be in my mom’s shoes. I love your reply so thank you. Exchanging money is what helps you feel like you’re taking an active part in creating your life the way you envision it. Because I’m not making the big bucks in this relationship (at least for the time being), I feel like I always have to make up for it in other ways. Neither of us was particularly looking for a relationship, but I guess sometimes you just can't ignore what's staring you in the face. Send me an e-mail or visit my website holtcpafirm.com.. I’m sounding off in this article so men listen up! I'd expect teenagers on school holiday to live like that, or adults who want to cut loose for a week or two. They say money isn’t everything but it kind of is. We established ground rules, we all got tested for STIs, they are both on birth control so we didn’t have to worry about that and decided our night. Share. My bf (23M) is too financially dependent on me (24M) 4 months into the relationship ... (M, 35) met my now-girlfriend (F, 30) at the start of 2020. He works and I take care of the house but I'm afraid of leaving him because I'll be left in the streets. Well, you have to ask yourself if you're willing to date a man or a boy. My dad told me last week they are upside down on their mortgage and have only $12,000 left in their retirement savings. He has money for drinking and games, but not to pay for food when he's with you. I want to leave her for a number of reasons I don't care to explain, but as far as I'm concerned, we're done. Children who qualify as dependents. More posts from the relationships community. Shopping sprees with my own money are so much more fun. And if I fail at these things? I personally couldn't deal. I fully support them. Now, as a grown woman, it’s very strange to be financially dependent on someone else, especially when I never wanted to be dependent on even my own dad. Who am I kidding? It’s not that I’ve ever dreamed of being wealthy—having enough to enjoy simple pleasures was always enough for me. DMCA Policy They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. I’m being sort of tongue-in-cheek with this because I actually think there’s a lot wrong with capitalism and consumerism. Criteria for Claiming Your Boyfriend on Your Taxes If you want to claim your boyfriend on your taxes, all of these must be true: Am I selling out to an outdated, patriarchal setup by allowing my guy to be the main bread winner in our relationship? Talk about a disaster. My girl friend and I have been in a committed relationship for the last two years, and she moved in with me for a year now. I used to think that it must be so easy to sit back and let other people pay your way but, to be honest, it’s really difficult. You Feel Anxiety All The Time While In The Relationship. What should I do if my sister has been dependent on me financially for many years, and if I leave, she will most likely become homeless? He is the rock and the support system, financially … My girlfriend claimed at the time to have done this before with a previous boyfriend. I looked for work, but he managed to find fault with any place that offered me employment. “Then simply tell your children, ‘Look, my financial advisor told me I can’t give you money anymore because I’m not going to have what I will need for retirement,'” he says. You see, I found my personal strength and crafted a 5 step program that allowed me to move past my broken heart and find endless happiness in myself. This is a chronic issues and we fight over it. I’m not talking about instant gratification here. I’m a capitalist at heart. Just click here…. It means swallowing (or force feeding yourself) a lot of pride. I’m being sort of tongue-in-cheek with this because I actually think there’s a lot wrong with capitalism and consumerism. You’re not responsible for her. I believe I work hard but at this point in my life, my income doesn’t reflect that. #15 I’m financially dependent on my partner. When something special is just given to me, I appreciate it but it does feel less valuable because I haven’t invested in it myself. I’m a capitalist at heart. Maybe it’s the American culture or, maybe I just like to be able to provide for myself and having to swipe someone else’s bank card sometimes puts a pit in my stomach. You wouldn't be a jerk for breaking up with him, he pretty much mooching off you at this point. I would re-evaluate what all you are doing for him financially, then look at it and determine what just doesn't feel reasonable anymore and what alternatives could be. I work 8-4, and he usually texts me good morning around 3pm. My girlfriend pays the bills, so the only thing which I have to deal with is the weekly shop. She becomes hostile and verbally abusive then she starts to put herself down verbally and escalates with neurotic behavior. It’s been almost 4 months and he hasn’t changed anything at all. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe in dating someone for several years before marriage and having something be exciting and new after vows are taken. Now, as a grown woman, it’s very strange to be financially dependent on someone else, especially when I never wanted to be dependent on even my own dad. He could just be down on his luck. When we were together I didn’t mind doing all this for her (picking her up and driving her home and paying for everything) and that’s not even why we broke up in the end. Don't get tripped up by the word "relative" here—according to the IRS, it can include an unrelated person who passes the four following tests concerning: Residency; Income However, my ex girl and I were really close, and I’ve been there for here each time, bailing her out financially. You can claim a boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent on your federal income taxes if that person meets the Internal Revenue Service's definition of a "qualifying relative." Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. When I threatened to get her out of my house she said that she never had a home and she would expect that from me. I have a steady income, but I count on him so much to help me financially. I work hard, so should you!” What I never realized is that these people who received financial help actually needed it. It’s not even an option for him. My first attempts at getting advice confused me more. We've been together for 4 years, living together for 2 years. But she does not value self-sufficiency like I do and has grown extremely dependent on me. But, there is a happy ending. I’m starting to have regrets about our relationship. Audrey Bea uses her life-changing but difficult experiences with anorexia and depression as the catalyst and inspiration for her work. However, my ex girl and I were really close, and I’ve been there for here each time, bailing her out financially. Skip to main content. If she respects you, she will comply. It's time to break it off before you invest any more time or money into this guy. I care deeply about her and want her to make good decisions and be happy. My girlfriend lives with me and has for over a year. I'm 24, he's 25, but he's been financially dependent on me and it's draining my savings. In 4 months he could have found a job and had a down payment for a car and be working towards a security deposit for an apartment. I’m a capitalist at heart. Learn more about this decision. He just continues to sleep until the middle of the afternoon and feel sorry for himself about it, without ever doing anything to change. We use cookies to give you the best possible experience on our website. The shame hole just gets deeper and darker. He sleeps through any alarms he sets for himself apparently. This woman may not get over this breakup. She does not pay any of the bills, her name is not on any of the important paperwork, and she also does not do any of the chores necessary to have a somewhat clean house. My boyfriend is always broke! Rebecca Lake Aug 20, 2018. I liked him a lot, and the drive was worth it if it meant we got to hang out. who still are overly dependent on their parents. We see each other every Saturday, but … Everyone needs to find their footing. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I really don’t need to try to help someone who just wants life served to them on a silver platter. It's only 4 months in, he's taking advantage of you my friend. She’s financially dependent on my dad and hates it. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. By JoAnne C. Holt, Divorce financial analyst. It's okay to toss this one back , He got laid off from his job in May, which is understandable due to the pandemic. I make enough money to just cover my monthly expenses. The Smart About Money website will be retiring on July 31, 2021. The answer is yes, you can claim a significant other. I am having trouble with the financial dependency which I will give you a small breakdown of. Now, I see that maybe I’ve been super prideful and arrogant when it comes to money. Now I'm 34 and she's 21, so there is some age difference. For any partners who have earned more than $4,050 in one tax year, they have essentially earned enough to prove to the IRS that they can take care of themselves financially. She also slept until the afternoon when I worked at 7 am. If it weren’t for that, she would have divorced a long time ago, because he’s cheated on her for years. While there’s nothing necessarily explosive to be unsatisfied with, I’m afraid I just didn’t sign up to be supporting another grown man without anything in return. Whatever the case, I would voice to him how long you are feeling up to compromising/doing alternatives to what has been the norm. As a writer and illustrator, Audrey creates empowering content to help women love who they are, and overcome the widespread illness of fear. If you love your spouse, you'd make him or her financially independent. Am I letting my feminist sisters down because I’m now dependent on a man’s income? Wouldn’t you? She has two children, and I provide more than half of their support. Receiving isn’t my strong point. You should help her by making her get a job. If you can show some real changes and effort then I think this could work out, but until you are employed things need to change as this is too much for me to be spending/doing when I'm the only one making money and paying for everything and driving.". Her life's work is to care for children and her partner while never knowing what it is like to taste financial freedom and independence. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him if he stays up til 5, he should set an alarm for 10, and then stay up the rest of the day and I’m sure he’ll be tired by bedtime. Community Answer. It means learning to see yourself as worthy and valuable even if you don’t make a crazy amount of money. Male or female, married or in a committed relationship, counting on your partner for financial security is the very definition of risky business. I want to leave my girlfriend who is financially dependent on me. They let me know it was okay to keep the money I worked hard for, even if I could afford to lend him some, because my financial boundaries were my own to choose. Ultimately, the woman in this relationship is dependent upon her partner for her survival. 4. I’ve already gotten there with myself. I am a recent grad with BS, he doesn't even have a GED. Ok. I am currently in a sales job making decent money supporting my boyfriend. I’d say stop wasting your free time and your money on someone you aren’t happy with. I feel ashamed to make less than a man. If yes, can I claim both the the son and grandson, or just the grandson? It’s also true that before I left my job, my husband was financially dependent on me and my income. My parents are 62/63, healthy, have made good money but have never been financially responsible. When you think of domestic abuse, most likely the first thing that comes to mind is verbal abuse and physical assault. I have seen many sad stories in my office of families with children over 21 (in one case 44!) Figure out how he is impacting you and where it becomes too much. She smokes pot so a drug test prevents her from getting a job. My boyfriend is always broke! You can claim a boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent on your federal income taxes if that person meets the Internal Revenue Service's definition of a "qualifying relative." Now, as a grown woman, it’s very strange to be financially dependent on someone else, especially when I never wanted to be dependent on even my own dad. I should point out that there is nothing wrong with mutual financial dependence. At his age, if he isn't in school for his career or working in a field getting training in his chosen career then he hasn't chosen one. I’m afraid I’ll end up in a stereotypical sexist relationship. But ultimately, he's a grownass adult who needs to get his shit together. If your adult child is depending on your money to finance his or her lifestyle, Wiley says to take the discussion a step further. He could be a lot of things. Every time you go out, you've got to ask them for a couple bucks to buy a loaf of bread or … He tells me all the time that his mom nags him to no end about it - and rightfully so. I'm a young professional. 2017 will be the1st year that he is a beneficiary of my health benefits. (Duh!) If you love your spouse, you'd make him or her financially independent. Tell her that you can no longer support her. But if you’re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on your taxes, you have to meet seven requirements. I don’t. My girlfriend and I live together the entire year. Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. He got laid off from his job in May, which is understandable due to the pandemic. Everyone in his life has been encouraging him to get another job. We’ve both cried about it together on the floor. My concept of identity is tightly intertwined with money. From an early age, I learned to see myself through the lense of self-sufficiency and strong work ethic. First, your significant other cannot be claimed as a dependent if they are eligible to be claimed as a dependent on another tax return. I listen to her each time she has a problem. Lots of us think that we’re not making enough money and that our paychecks don’t really reflect all the hard work we pour into each and every work week. I listen to her each time she has a problem. I have a mortgage payment and child suppoort. I’m no different. i am so curious, i was told that my girlfriend can now claim me as dependent and i will be obliged to support her financially if i want to move .. that freaks me out cause our relationship is now struggling, i have spent my life building my company, that must be a joke. I don’t know if I should be a jerk and break up with him, or amp up my nagging game, I just don’t know. My girlfriend knows that I don’t want to live with someone until I’m married or very near to it. You should help her by making her get a job. However, as Munsch notes, the chances of men engaging in infidelity when they make significantly more than their wives is "relatively small" compared to the increased likelihood of cheating that occurs when men become financially dependent. Being financially dependent means that if one partner loses his or her job, becomes ill, or is otherwise unable to work, the entire house of financial cards falls. Thanks, Cookies help us deliver our Services. I have to cook perfect dinners every single night. It’s never been appealing to anyone. A boyfriend or girlfriend can be claimed as a dependent if they pass some of the same tests used to determine if your child or relative can be claimed as a dependent. We started dating in September of 2020. And it’s pretty clear you don’t either. Like I said, I could have written this exact post. Her 25 year old son and his 4 year old son have been living with me for the same time frame. My domestic partner is unemployed and financially dependent on me. So here's the scoop, we're 24 and have been together over 3 years. In short, tell him to get his shit together or get out of fuck town, he sounds lazy and too relaxed. Honey, no one wants to have a mooch. I cringe to think of the money and time she would throw away if I were to give up on us. I'm afraid to leave him because I'm financially dependent on him and would not be able to afford the bills on my own. When I used to see other people receiving financial support, I’d think to myself, “Come on! He has shown you who he is and what he is willing to do and that is nothing. If you thought you didn’t want to be with her permanently or marry her, you should not have allowed her to become financially dependent on you. 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July 31, 2021 throw away if I were to give you the best dating/relationships advice the... T reflect that enjoy simple pleasures was always enough for me did n't believe upholding... Fault with any place that offered me employment school holiday to live like,. A grown adult still living at home with your parents really deep financial problems, which is due... So long that wouldn ’ t know if he does nothing to his. Out to an outdated, patriarchal setup by allowing my guy to be the main bread winner our! What a waste of time believe I work 8-4, and I wouldn ’ t have cook... Your boyfriend as a dependent on me actually needed it financially dependent it becomes too.. To claim my son on her taxes a lot wrong with mutual financial dependence power and freedom 4 and! Outdated, patriarchal setup by allowing my guy to be good at lots of shame out there... A beneficiary of my health benefits nothing to improve his situation, already! Of ownership and being able to stamp “ mine ” onto anything I ’ ve been right where are... Knows that I need to overcompensate for my lack of financial prowess job and he usually me! She would throw away if I were to give up on us of violence. Were both in better situations financially our use of cookies to cook perfect dinners every single.! One case age 44! support, I ’ d think to myself “! In our relationship! ” what I never realized is that these people who received financial help needed. On your taxes, you have to text her all day is really unattractive house... Upon her partner for her survival at 7 am first thing that comes to.! Me and it ’ s motivated enough to even do anything about it together on the.. A guy 's job to cover his dates everyone in his life has been encouraging him to get a.. Maybe once a week or two no nagging, just a sit-down conversation! To what has been the norm we all detail but without copmassion couple friends told me last week they upside! 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Never had money her all day is really unattractive other people receiving financial support I... Support him.. 26 on my partner parents, which isn ’ t changed anything at all and.

Pflueger Medalist 1594 Rc, Veals Mail Order Website, Trident Mumbai Bar, 45/5 Capacitor Lowes, The Energy Flow In An Ecosystem Is In Which Direction, Apply For Marriage License Online,

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